1
00:00:36,080 --> 00:00:38,878
'The history of every major Galactic
civilisation
2
00:00:39,080 --> 00:00:42,709
'passes through three distinct
and recognisable phases:
3
00:00:50,160 --> 00:00:53,197
'For instance, the first phase
is characterised by the question:
4
00:00:56,280 --> 00:00:57,679
'The second by the question:
5
00:01:01,280 --> 00:01:02,952
'The third by the question:
6
00:01:05,960 --> 00:01:09,111
'Though it will take a large civilisation
thousands of years
7
00:01:09,320 --> 00:01:11,834
'to pass through the how,
why and where phases,
8
00:01:12,040 --> 00:01:14,873
'small social groupings
under stressful conditions
9
00:01:15,080 --> 00:01:18,629
'can pass through these phases
with extreme rapidity thus...'
10
00:01:18,840 --> 00:01:20,671
(ARTHUR) How are doing?
(ZAPHOD ) Badly.
11
00:01:20,880 --> 00:01:22,359
(ARTHUR) Why?
(ALL) Shut up!
12
00:01:22,560 --> 00:01:28,271
(MARVIN) Excitement and adventure
and really wild things.
13
00:01:29,080 --> 00:01:32,277
'Excitement and adventure
and really wild things
14
00:01:32,480 --> 00:01:35,199
'have been dogging Arthur Dent
for some days.
15
00:01:35,400 --> 00:01:40,315
'He's had his planet demolished
to make way for a hyperspace by-pass,
16
00:01:40,520 --> 00:01:44,035
'and has been confronted
with the disconcerting knowledge
17
00:01:44,240 --> 00:01:47,232
'that the Earth was not what it appeared,
18
00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:50,716
'but was in fact a gigantic super-computer
19
00:01:50,920 --> 00:01:56,358
'designed to calculate the Ultimate Question
of Life, the Universe and Everything.
20
00:01:56,560 --> 00:01:58,312
'The answer to which
is now known to be:
21
00:02:01,280 --> 00:02:06,718
'He and his companions
have been blasted far forward in time
22
00:02:06,920 --> 00:02:09,480
'to the Restaurant at the End of the Universe,
23
00:02:09,680 --> 00:02:11,989
'from which they're returning in a ship
24
00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:16,159
'which could not in all honesty
be said to belong to them.
25
00:02:16,920 --> 00:02:20,196
'Can they now relax for a while
and take stock?
26
00:02:20,400 --> 00:02:21,719
'No.
27
00:02:21,920 --> 00:02:25,071
'The ship does in fact
belong to Disaster Area,
28
00:02:25,280 --> 00:02:28,909
'a plutonium rock band
whose stage act traditionally ends
29
00:02:29,120 --> 00:02:34,592
'with a black stunt ship on autopilot
crashing into the heart of a nearby sun.
30
00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:39,749
'Of this, however, Arthur Dent and his
companions are totally unaware.
31
00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:42,349
'They decide to relax for a while
and take stock.'
32
00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:45,748
Listen, Earthman, you've a job to do.
33
00:02:45,960 --> 00:02:48,076
The Question to the Ultimate Answer, right?
34
00:02:48,280 --> 00:02:50,475
There's a lot of loot
in that head thing of yours.
35
00:02:50,680 --> 00:02:53,752
Where do we start?
The Ultimate Answer's 42.
36
00:02:53,960 --> 00:02:57,316
What's the question? How should I know?
It could be anything.
37
00:02:57,520 --> 00:02:59,192
What's six times seven?
38
00:02:59,400 --> 00:03:02,437
- (ALL) 42!
- Yes, I know that.
39
00:03:02,640 --> 00:03:05,518
I'm just saying it could be anything.
Why ask me?
40
00:03:05,720 --> 00:03:09,679
'Cause you were the last one!
You were there at the Big Firework!
41
00:03:09,880 --> 00:03:12,713
- I wish you'd stop saying that.
- I know.
42
00:03:12,920 --> 00:03:14,831
Shut up, this is organism talk.
43
00:03:15,040 --> 00:03:18,157
It's printed in the Earthman's
brainwave patterns,
44
00:03:18,360 --> 00:03:22,194
but I don't suppose
you'll be very interested in that.
45
00:03:22,400 --> 00:03:23,719
You can read my mind?
46
00:03:23,920 --> 00:03:25,797
- Yes.
- And?
47
00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:29,197
It amazes me how you manage to live
in anything that small.
48
00:03:29,400 --> 00:03:30,674
Abuse!
49
00:03:30,880 --> 00:03:33,440
Ignore him, he's only making it up.
50
00:03:33,640 --> 00:03:37,428
Making it up?
Why should I want to do that?
51
00:03:37,640 --> 00:03:41,474
Life's bad enough as it is
without wanting to invent any more of it.
52
00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:45,355
Marvin, if you knew all along,
why didn't you tell us?
53
00:03:45,560 --> 00:03:49,599
- You didn't ask.
- We're asking now. What's the question?
54
00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:51,916
- The Ultimate Question?
- Yes!
55
00:03:52,120 --> 00:03:55,271
- Of Life, the Universe and Everything?
- Yeah!
56
00:03:55,480 --> 00:03:59,871
- To which the answer is 42?
- Yeah, come on!
57
00:04:00,080 --> 00:04:02,469
(MARVIN) You're not really interested.
58
00:04:02,680 --> 00:04:05,433
Tell us, you motorised maniac!
59
00:04:12,240 --> 00:04:15,437
This ship knows
where it's going better than we do.
60
00:04:15,640 --> 00:04:18,598
I could tell you weren't really interested.
61
00:04:19,240 --> 00:04:21,310
- Who does this ship belong to?
- Me.
62
00:04:21,520 --> 00:04:23,988
- Who does it really belong to?!
- Really me!
63
00:04:24,200 --> 00:04:25,872
Property is theft, right?
64
00:04:26,080 --> 00:04:29,390
Therefore theft is property,
therefore this ship is mine.
65
00:04:29,600 --> 00:04:33,559
- Tell the ship that.
- Ship! This is your new owner speaking!
66
00:04:33,760 --> 00:04:35,716
(SCREECHING SIREN)
67
00:04:39,560 --> 00:04:43,712
(L0UD INTERC0M) 0K, channel 9
on power. Testing channel 15.
68
00:04:43,920 --> 00:04:48,710
Channel 15, A-0K.
Now in pre-sundive position.
69
00:04:48,920 --> 00:04:52,276
Put in under control
of central-stage coordination.
70
00:04:52,480 --> 00:04:57,508
Ship locked into stage computer A-0K.
Stand by for sundive.
71
00:04:57,720 --> 00:05:00,837
- Turn it off!
- What does sundive mean?
72
00:05:01,040 --> 00:05:04,191
The ship is going to dive into the sun.
73
00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:08,029
Sun. Dive.
It's very simple to understand.
74
00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:13,155
What do you expect
if you steal Disaster Area's stunt ship?
75
00:05:13,360 --> 00:05:18,275
Marvin, what makes you think
it's Disaster Area's stunt ship?
76
00:05:18,480 --> 00:05:20,357
Simple...
77
00:05:20,560 --> 00:05:22,551
I parked it for them.
78
00:05:23,920 --> 00:05:25,956
Then why...?
79
00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:27,991
Why didn't you tell us?!
80
00:05:28,200 --> 00:05:32,796
You said you wanted excitement
and adventure and really wild things.
81
00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:35,195
This is awful!
82
00:05:36,120 --> 00:05:37,951
That's what I said.
83
00:05:38,400 --> 00:05:40,960
(SIRENS BLAST)
84
00:05:46,040 --> 00:05:47,758
Hi, there, Galactic rock fans!
85
00:05:47,960 --> 00:05:50,076
Fine weather for the concert this afternoon.
86
00:05:50,280 --> 00:05:53,352
I'm standing here on stage in the desert,
87
00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:55,437
and with my hyper-binoctic glasses
88
00:05:55,640 --> 00:05:59,838
I can just make out the huge audience
on the horizon all around.
89
00:06:00,040 --> 00:06:02,952
Behind me, huge speaker stacks
rise like a cliff face,
90
00:06:03,160 --> 00:06:06,755
high above the sun is shining
and doesn't know what's going to hit it.
91
00:06:06,960 --> 00:06:11,192
The environmentalist lobby do know
and claim the concert will cause
92
00:06:11,400 --> 00:06:17,475
earthquakes, tidal waves, hurricanes
and other things they always go on about.
93
00:06:17,680 --> 00:06:22,549
But I've just heard that Disaster Area
met with the environmentalists
94
00:06:22,760 --> 00:06:24,273
and had them shot!
95
00:06:24,480 --> 00:06:29,554
So now nothing stands in the way
of the concert going ahead today.
96
00:06:32,920 --> 00:06:35,832
- Know what I'm thinking?
- I think so.
97
00:06:36,040 --> 00:06:37,917
Tell me what you think I'm thinking.
98
00:06:38,120 --> 00:06:40,236
- It's time to get off this ship.
- I think you're right.
99
00:06:40,440 --> 00:06:42,237
I think you're right.
100
00:06:42,640 --> 00:06:46,428
- How?
- Quiet, we're thinking.
101
00:06:47,920 --> 00:06:50,514
So this is it? We're going to die.
102
00:06:53,120 --> 00:06:55,350
I wish you'd stop saying that.
103
00:06:55,560 --> 00:07:00,714
'One of the things Ford Prefect found hard
to understand about human beings
104
00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:06,870
'was their habit of continually stating
and re-stating the very, very obvious, as in:
105
00:07:17,440 --> 00:07:21,638
'First, Ford formed a theory to account
for this strange behaviour.
106
00:07:21,840 --> 00:07:26,391
'If human beings
don't exercise their lips, he thought,
107
00:07:26,600 --> 00:07:29,797
'their mouths probably seize up.
108
00:07:30,040 --> 00:07:34,238
'After a while, he abandoned this theory
in favour of a new one.
109
00:07:34,440 --> 00:07:37,910
'If they don't exercise their lips, he thought,
110
00:07:38,120 --> 00:07:40,873
'their brains start working.
111
00:07:41,080 --> 00:07:45,198
'In fact, this second theory is more literally
true of the Belcerebon People
112
00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:47,550
'of Kakrafoon Kappa.
113
00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:52,754
'The Belcerebons used to cause great
resentment amongst neighbouring races
114
00:07:52,960 --> 00:07:55,599
'by being one of the most enlightened,
accomplished
115
00:07:55,800 --> 00:07:59,873
'and, above all, quiet civilisations
in the Galaxy.
116
00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:01,911
'As a punishment for this behaviour,
117
00:08:02,120 --> 00:08:05,510
'which was held to be offensively
self-righteous and provocative,
118
00:08:05,720 --> 00:08:11,431
'a Galactic tribunal inflicted on them
that most cruel of all social diseases:
119
00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:12,914
'telepathy.
120
00:08:15,080 --> 00:08:20,791
'Now, in order to prevent themselves
broadcasting every slightest thought
121
00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:23,150
'to anyone within a five-mile radius,
122
00:08:23,360 --> 00:08:26,989
'they have to talk loudly
and continuously about the weather,
123
00:08:27,200 --> 00:08:30,033
'their little aches and pains,
the match this afternoon
124
00:08:30,240 --> 00:08:34,870
'and what a noisy place
Kakrafoon has suddenly become.
125
00:08:35,040 --> 00:08:39,033
'Another method of temporarily
blotting out their mind is to play host
126
00:08:39,240 --> 00:08:42,516
'to a Disaster Area concert.'
127
00:08:42,720 --> 00:08:44,358
(LOUD ROCK MUSIC)
128
00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:52,794
This is it! We're starting to dive!
129
00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:54,956
We're heading straight into the sun!
130
00:08:55,400 --> 00:08:58,073
(ROCK MUSIC CRESCENDO )
131
00:09:03,080 --> 00:09:06,834
- How many escape capsules are there?
- None!
132
00:09:07,040 --> 00:09:10,828
- You counted them?
- Twice! Raise the crew on the radio?
133
00:09:11,040 --> 00:09:14,430
- I said there were people on board.
- And they said?
134
00:09:14,640 --> 00:09:15,914
''Hi, there!''
135
00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:19,476
- You told them who you were?
- Yeah. They said it was a great honour.
136
00:09:19,720 --> 00:09:21,631
What does ''teleport'' mean?
137
00:09:21,840 --> 00:09:24,559
What did you say?
(FORD SCREAMS AND FALLS)
138
00:09:24,760 --> 00:09:27,228
- Probably the wrong moment.
- Where's the teleport?
139
00:09:27,440 --> 00:09:30,591
Under this sign
that says ''Out of order''. There.
140
00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:35,108
(ZAPHOD ) Hell's donkeys!
141
00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:42,109
It seems OK. Just the automatic
where-we're-going system is cocked up.
142
00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:46,871
- Who cares? Let's just go!
- Someone has to operate it manually.
143
00:09:47,080 --> 00:09:50,675
- Whoever it was would...would...
- Wouldn't...
144
00:09:50,880 --> 00:09:52,154
..Escape.
145
00:10:00,960 --> 00:10:03,838
Hey, Marvin, kid!
146
00:10:04,040 --> 00:10:05,473
How you doing?
147
00:10:05,680 --> 00:10:08,592
Very badly, I suspect.
148
00:10:08,800 --> 00:10:13,157
- How would you like to...
- ..lay down my life selflessly for you?
149
00:10:13,360 --> 00:10:16,352
- Make the ultimate sacrifice?
- Yeah.
150
00:10:16,560 --> 00:10:22,351
Consign my brain, which is the size
of a planet, to death in a blazing sun,
151
00:10:22,560 --> 00:10:26,030
so that you can all pursue
your futile little lives?
152
00:10:26,240 --> 00:10:32,110
Yeah. Nothing personal.
You don't count as a person, do you, kid?
153
00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:35,674
All right.
154
00:10:37,600 --> 00:10:40,751
- Come on, guys!
- Better all get into the teleport.
155
00:10:40,960 --> 00:10:44,839
Marvin, you stupid tin can, shift it!
156
00:10:45,040 --> 00:10:46,917
We really appreciate this.
157
00:10:50,800 --> 00:10:54,156
I suppose some people
might expect better treatment
158
00:10:54,360 --> 00:10:59,673
after having waited 576,000
million years in a car park.
159
00:10:59,880 --> 00:11:01,154
But not me.
160
00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:03,555
I may just be a menial robot,
161
00:11:03,760 --> 00:11:10,108
but I'm far too intelligent to expect
anyone to think of me for a moment.
162
00:11:10,320 --> 00:11:15,553
In fact, I'm so intelligent, I've probably
got time to go through the five mill...
163
00:11:15,760 --> 00:11:17,716
(ROCK MUSIC CRESCENDO )
164
00:11:33,920 --> 00:11:35,194
Ford?
165
00:11:37,680 --> 00:11:38,954
Ford?
166
00:11:41,120 --> 00:11:42,348
(ARTHUR) Ford?
167
00:11:48,280 --> 00:11:49,554
Arthur!
168
00:11:52,080 --> 00:11:54,640
- Arthur!
- Ford!
169
00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:59,356
- Zaph?
- Trillian? Where've they got to?
170
00:11:59,560 --> 00:12:04,395
There's no reason why we should
all end up in the same place.
171
00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:07,239
- Ah, well.
- Trillian?
172
00:12:07,440 --> 00:12:10,398
They could be anywhere.
So could we, for that matter.
173
00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:11,874
Zaphod?
174
00:12:12,080 --> 00:12:14,196
(FOOTSTEPS)
What's that?
175
00:12:16,240 --> 00:12:17,992
Feet! Let's move!
176
00:12:19,880 --> 00:12:24,112
- That's the way they're coming from.
- No, that's the way!
177
00:12:24,320 --> 00:12:26,072
(BOTH) You're right!
178
00:12:29,240 --> 00:12:31,515
This way!
179
00:12:33,760 --> 00:12:36,228
(FOOTSTEPS GETTING LOUDER)
180
00:12:55,800 --> 00:12:57,074
Joggers!
181
00:13:21,280 --> 00:13:24,033
- A funeral parlour?
- Wild!
182
00:13:24,240 --> 00:13:28,199
- What's so great about dead people?
- I dunno. What is so great?
183
00:13:29,640 --> 00:13:31,232
(FORD ) Look, a plaque.
184
00:13:35,640 --> 00:13:36,914
And a serial number.
185
00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:40,112
- A dead telephone sanitiser?
- Best kind.
186
00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:42,311
- What's he doing here?
- Not a lot!
187
00:13:43,480 --> 00:13:45,835
This one's a hairdresser.
188
00:13:46,040 --> 00:13:49,396
(FORD ) This one's
an advertising account executive.
189
00:13:49,600 --> 00:13:52,797
A second-hand car salesman, third class.
190
00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:55,719
Are you sure these are coffins?
They're terribly cold.
191
00:13:55,920 --> 00:14:00,277
All right! Put your hands up
and turn around slowly.
192
00:14:03,040 --> 00:14:06,555
- Why isn't anyone ever pleased to see us?
- You're my prisoners.
193
00:14:06,760 --> 00:14:08,716
- All right.
- Move! Move!
194
00:14:08,920 --> 00:14:10,990
- Move?
- Move!
195
00:14:11,200 --> 00:14:16,228
Left, right, left, right!
Keep in line! Left, right, left, right!
196
00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:19,432
Left, right, one, two, three!
197
00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:45,958
- Captain?
- Yes, Number Three?
198
00:14:46,160 --> 00:14:49,789
I've had a sort of report-thingy
from Number One.
199
00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:53,913
- Oh, dear...
- Something about finding prisoners.
200
00:14:54,120 --> 00:14:57,908
Perhaps it'll keep him happy for a bit.
He's always wanted some.
201
00:15:00,760 --> 00:15:04,196
- Captain, sir!
- Hello, Number One. Having a nice day?
202
00:15:04,400 --> 00:15:08,871
I've brought the prisoners
from Freezer Base 7, sir.
203
00:15:09,080 --> 00:15:12,709
Hello! Excuse me not getting up,
just having a quick bath.
204
00:15:12,920 --> 00:15:16,515
Well, gin and tonics all round, then!
Look in the fridge, Number Three!
205
00:15:16,720 --> 00:15:18,358
Certainly, sir!
206
00:15:18,560 --> 00:15:20,596
Don't you want to interrogate
the prisoners, sir?
207
00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:22,791
Why on Golgafrincham should I do that?
208
00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:26,436
To get information out of them, sir,
find out why they came here.
209
00:15:26,640 --> 00:15:30,997
No, no. I expect they just dropped in
for a quick gin and tonic, don't you?
210
00:15:31,200 --> 00:15:35,159
But, sir...they're my prisoners.
Can't I interrogate them a little bit?
211
00:15:35,360 --> 00:15:37,555
Oh, very well.
212
00:15:37,760 --> 00:15:40,638
- Ask them what they want to drink.
- Thank you, sir.
213
00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:42,114
All right.
214
00:15:44,080 --> 00:15:45,911
You scum!
215
00:15:46,760 --> 00:15:49,877
- You vermin!
- Steady on, Number One!
216
00:15:50,080 --> 00:15:52,150
What do you want to drink?
217
00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:56,517
Gin and tonic sounds
very nice to me. Arthur?
218
00:15:56,720 --> 00:15:57,994
Yes!
219
00:15:58,200 --> 00:16:01,033
With ice or without?
220
00:16:03,320 --> 00:16:04,594
With, please.
221
00:16:05,960 --> 00:16:07,678
Lemon?
222
00:16:09,280 --> 00:16:13,319
Yeah. Do you have any of those
little biscuits, the cheesy ones?
223
00:16:13,520 --> 00:16:15,829
I'm asking the questions.
224
00:16:16,040 --> 00:16:19,077
Number One, push off, will you?
225
00:16:19,280 --> 00:16:22,078
I'm trying to take a relaxing bath.
226
00:16:22,640 --> 00:16:26,679
May I respectfully remind you that you've
been in that bath for over three years?
227
00:16:26,880 --> 00:16:30,111
Well, one needs to relax a lot
in a job like mine.
228
00:16:30,320 --> 00:16:31,594
Can I just...?
229
00:16:31,800 --> 00:16:34,234
Could I just ask you what your job is?
230
00:16:34,440 --> 00:16:36,431
- Your drinks.
- Thanks.
231
00:16:36,640 --> 00:16:40,076
- I couldn't help noticing the bodies.
- Bodies?
232
00:16:40,280 --> 00:16:44,353
Dead telephone sanitisers
and account executives.
233
00:16:44,560 --> 00:16:50,237
They're not dead, no! They're just frozen.
They'll be revived.
234
00:16:50,440 --> 00:16:54,718
- You've a hold full of frozen hairdressers?
- Millions of them.
235
00:16:54,920 --> 00:17:00,597
Hairdressers, tired TV producers,
insurance salesmen, personnel officers.
236
00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:03,314
Security guards, public relations executives.
237
00:17:03,520 --> 00:17:07,513
Management consultants.
We're going to colonise another planet.
238
00:17:07,720 --> 00:17:10,188
- What?
- Exciting, isn't it?
239
00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:12,550
- With that lot?!
- Don't misunderstand me.
240
00:17:12,760 --> 00:17:16,878
We're just one of the ships
of the Ark Fleet. We're the B Ark.
241
00:17:17,080 --> 00:17:21,551
Excuse me, could you run
a little more hot water for me?
242
00:17:21,760 --> 00:17:23,955
- Yes, sure.
- Thanks.
243
00:17:32,880 --> 00:17:37,749
- What's a B Ark?
- Well, our planet was doomed.
244
00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:40,076
- Doomed?
- Yes, so everybody said,
245
00:17:40,280 --> 00:17:44,478
''Let's pack the whole population
into giant spaceships
246
00:17:44,680 --> 00:17:47,592
- ''and settle on another planet.''
- A less doomed one?
247
00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:51,918
Precisely. So it was decided
to build three gigantic ships.
248
00:17:52,120 --> 00:17:55,237
Three gigantic Arks in space.
249
00:17:55,440 --> 00:18:01,117
The idea was that into the first ship
would go all the brilliant leaders, scientists,
250
00:18:01,320 --> 00:18:05,029
the great artists, you know, all the achievers.
251
00:18:05,240 --> 00:18:09,472
Into the third ship would go all the people
who do the actual work,
252
00:18:09,680 --> 00:18:11,716
who make things and do things.
253
00:18:11,920 --> 00:18:16,277
Then into the B ship - that's us -
would go everyone else, the middlemen.
254
00:18:16,480 --> 00:18:18,835
Of course, we were sent off first.
255
00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:24,997
- What was wrong with your planet?
- It was doomed.
256
00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:29,432
Apparently it was going to blow up
or crash into the sun or something.
257
00:18:29,640 --> 00:18:32,234
That's not what I was told.
258
00:18:32,440 --> 00:18:36,035
My commander swore
that the entire planet was about to be eaten
259
00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:37,798
by a mutant star goat.
260
00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:39,752
- Really?
- Yes.
261
00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:44,590
He said how lucky I was
to be going off in the first ship.
262
00:18:44,800 --> 00:18:49,749
But they made sure
they sent all you lot off first, anyway.
263
00:18:51,120 --> 00:18:55,671
Oh, yes! And everyone said -
very nice I thought -
264
00:18:55,880 --> 00:18:59,919
how important for morale to feel
that they were arriving on another planet
265
00:19:00,120 --> 00:19:05,194
where you could get a good haircut
and where the phones were clean.
266
00:19:05,400 --> 00:19:08,233
Yes. I can see that'd be very important.
267
00:19:08,440 --> 00:19:10,237
- Can you?
- Sh!
268
00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:13,830
And the rest of the ships
followed on after you?
269
00:19:14,040 --> 00:19:16,349
Funny you should mention that,
270
00:19:16,560 --> 00:19:20,189
'cause curiously enough
we haven't heard a peep out of them
271
00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:25,394
since we left five years ago,
yet they must be behind us somewhere.
272
00:19:25,600 --> 00:19:27,113
Yes...
273
00:19:27,320 --> 00:19:29,675
Unless they're all eaten by the goat?
274
00:19:29,880 --> 00:19:33,190
(CAPTAIN CHORTLES)
The goat!
275
00:19:36,040 --> 00:19:41,478
Funny... Now that I come to tell
the story to someone else...
276
00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:44,274
Don't you find it a bit odd, Number Three?
277
00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:48,075
- Well...
- It is a bit odd, isn't it?
278
00:19:48,280 --> 00:19:50,794
- It's odd.
- Yes, well...
279
00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:54,754
I can see you've a lot to talk about.
So thanks for the drink.
280
00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:57,918
Could you drop us off
at the nearest convenient planet?
281
00:19:58,120 --> 00:20:00,509
That's a little difficult, you see.
282
00:20:00,720 --> 00:20:04,395
Our trajectory thingy was pre-set
before we left Golgafrincham.
283
00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:09,674
I think it was partly due to the fact
I'm not really very good at figures.
284
00:20:09,880 --> 00:20:11,632
You mean...
285
00:20:11,840 --> 00:20:14,354
We're stuck here on this ship?
286
00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:18,679
When are you going to arrive at this planet?
287
00:20:18,880 --> 00:20:20,996
We're nearly there. Nearly there.
288
00:20:21,200 --> 00:20:23,236
I should be out of this bath, in fact...
289
00:20:23,440 --> 00:20:26,716
Oh, why stop just when I'm enjoying it?
290
00:20:26,920 --> 00:20:31,311
- We are about to land, then?
- Not exactly land, no.
291
00:20:31,520 --> 00:20:34,318
As far as I remember,
we were programmed to crash on it.
292
00:20:34,520 --> 00:20:36,033
Crash?!
293
00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:40,631
Some reason for it, but for the life of me
I can't remember what it was.
294
00:20:41,960 --> 00:20:44,599
You're all a load of useless bloody loonies!
295
00:20:46,080 --> 00:20:49,675
Yes, that was it! That was the reason!
296
00:20:56,240 --> 00:21:01,951
'The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy
has this to say about Golgafrincham:
297
00:21:35,760 --> 00:21:39,196
'Meanwhile,
the remaining useless third crash-landed
298
00:21:39,400 --> 00:21:43,029
'into the prehistoric dawn
of a small blue-green planet
299
00:21:43,240 --> 00:21:47,597
'at the unfashionable end
of the Western Spiral arm of the Galaxy.'
300
00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:49,631
It's odd, isn't it?
301
00:21:49,840 --> 00:21:53,549
'With them are Arthur Dent and Ford Prefect.
302
00:21:53,760 --> 00:21:57,753
'They, too, have been travelling widely
in distant lands.
303
00:21:59,080 --> 00:22:01,640
'Something is bothering them.'
304
00:22:03,520 --> 00:22:05,988
(FORD ) It's very, very odd.
305
00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:09,397
There is one way to find out, of course.
306
00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:12,717
- What, you mean by going to...?
- Yes.
307
00:22:14,680 --> 00:22:15,954
All right.
308
00:22:40,160 --> 00:22:41,798
I said it was odd.
309
00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:44,594
Yes, I remember you saying.
310
00:22:45,640 --> 00:22:47,870
I can hardly believe it.
311
00:22:48,080 --> 00:22:50,435
I find it very easy to believe things.
312
00:22:50,640 --> 00:22:52,517
I wonder how the Golgafrinchans are doing?
313
00:22:52,720 --> 00:22:53,994
Do you?
314
00:22:57,480 --> 00:22:59,710
(IDLE CHATTERING)
315
00:23:08,320 --> 00:23:13,713
All right! I'd like to call this meeting
to some sort of order, if possible.
316
00:23:13,920 --> 00:23:17,469
- Fancy a light trim, sir?
- Not now, I'm in the bath!
317
00:23:17,680 --> 00:23:21,389
- Anyone else like one?
- Please, we're trying to have a meeting.
318
00:23:21,600 --> 00:23:26,515
- If you'd all care to look at the agenda.
- Hello!
319
00:23:26,720 --> 00:23:28,039
Hello!
320
00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:30,151
Who's that?
321
00:23:30,360 --> 00:23:31,713
(FORD ) Remember me?
322
00:23:31,920 --> 00:23:37,392
I...I made a discovery...
I'd like to tell you about.
323
00:23:37,600 --> 00:23:41,115
- Is it on the agenda?
- Agenda?
324
00:23:41,320 --> 00:23:44,039
Sorry, but speaking
as a management consultant,
325
00:23:44,240 --> 00:23:48,552
I must insist on the importance
of the committee structure.
326
00:23:50,120 --> 00:23:54,159
- On a prehistoric planet?
- Address the chair!
327
00:23:54,360 --> 00:23:57,636
- There isn't a chair, only a rock.
- Call it a chair.
328
00:23:57,840 --> 00:23:59,831
Why not call it a rock?
329
00:24:00,040 --> 00:24:01,553
Will you two shut up?!
330
00:24:01,760 --> 00:24:05,150
- I want to table a motion.
- Boulder a motion, you mean!
331
00:24:05,360 --> 00:24:07,874
(FORD ) Thank you, I made that point.
332
00:24:08,080 --> 00:24:10,310
- Order, order!
- If I could just say...
333
00:24:10,520 --> 00:24:13,318
Order, order!
334
00:24:15,840 --> 00:24:19,674
I would like to call to order the 573rd meeting
335
00:24:19,880 --> 00:24:25,079
of the colonisation committee
of the planet of Fintlewoodlewix.
336
00:24:25,280 --> 00:24:31,037
This is futile! 573 meetings
and you haven't even discovered fire yet!
337
00:24:33,200 --> 00:24:35,634
If you care to look at the agenda,
338
00:24:35,840 --> 00:24:39,992
we are having a report from the Hairdressers'
Fire Development Sub-committee.
339
00:24:40,200 --> 00:24:42,191
That's me.
340
00:24:42,920 --> 00:24:44,558
That's you?
341
00:24:44,760 --> 00:24:46,751
What have you done?
342
00:24:46,960 --> 00:24:50,475
Well...they gave me a couple of sticks.
343
00:24:50,680 --> 00:24:51,954
Yes. And?
344
00:24:58,280 --> 00:25:00,157
Curling tongs?
345
00:25:00,360 --> 00:25:02,669
You're going to die out, you know that?
346
00:25:04,240 --> 00:25:07,357
You are obviously being totally naïve!
347
00:25:07,560 --> 00:25:10,950
When you've been in marketing
as long as I have,
348
00:25:11,160 --> 00:25:14,470
you know that before any new product
can be developed
349
00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:17,672
it has to be properly researched.
350
00:25:17,880 --> 00:25:23,477
We've got to find out what people want
from fire, how they relate to its image...
351
00:25:23,680 --> 00:25:27,070
- Stick it up your nose!
- Precisely what we need to know.
352
00:25:27,280 --> 00:25:31,717
Do people want fire
that can be fitted nasally?
353
00:25:31,920 --> 00:25:34,639
And the wheel! What about this wheel thing?
354
00:25:34,840 --> 00:25:36,796
They say it's a fascinating project.
355
00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:40,470
We're having a little difficulty there.
356
00:25:42,080 --> 00:25:46,596
Difficulty? It's the single simplest machine
in the entire Universe!
357
00:25:46,800 --> 00:25:52,158
All right, Mr Wiseguy! You're so clever,
you tell us what colour it should be!
358
00:25:53,040 --> 00:25:55,634
O Mighty Zarquon!
359
00:25:55,840 --> 00:25:58,912
- Has no one done anything yet?
- Yes!
360
00:26:01,320 --> 00:26:03,709
I have declared war on the next continent.
361
00:26:04,680 --> 00:26:07,319
Declared war? There's no one living there.
362
00:26:07,520 --> 00:26:10,432
Yes. But there will be one day.
363
00:26:10,640 --> 00:26:14,758
- So we've left an open-ended ultimatum.
- What?
364
00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:17,793
And blown up a few military installations.
365
00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:21,754
- Military installations, Number Two?
- Yes, sir.
366
00:26:21,960 --> 00:26:24,599
Well, potential military installations.
367
00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:28,068
All right, trees.
368
00:26:28,280 --> 00:26:30,589
And we interrogated a gazelle.
369
00:26:30,800 --> 00:26:36,591
And one of our surviving film producers
rescued a camera from the wreckage.
370
00:26:36,800 --> 00:26:40,475
He wants to make a documentary
about you, Captain.
371
00:26:40,680 --> 00:26:42,079
That's awfully nice.
372
00:26:42,280 --> 00:26:45,590
Yes, he's got a really strong angle on it.
373
00:26:45,800 --> 00:26:50,430
The burden of responsibility,
the loneliness of command...
374
00:26:50,640 --> 00:26:53,313
I wouldn't overstress that angle.
375
00:26:53,520 --> 00:26:57,479
After all, one's never alone
with a rubber duck.
376
00:26:59,560 --> 00:27:03,439
If we could move on
to the subject of fiscal policy?
377
00:27:03,640 --> 00:27:05,631
Fiscal policy?
378
00:27:05,840 --> 00:27:09,435
How can you have money
if none of you produces anything?
379
00:27:09,640 --> 00:27:11,358
It doesn't grow on trees.
380
00:27:11,560 --> 00:27:15,189
But since we decided
to adopt the leaf as legal tender,
381
00:27:15,400 --> 00:27:19,359
we have all of course
become immensely rich.
382
00:27:19,560 --> 00:27:24,793
But we have run into a small inflation
problem owing to high leaf availability.
383
00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:27,275
That means the current rate
is something like
384
00:27:27,480 --> 00:27:31,553
three major deciduous forests
buy one ship's peanut.
385
00:27:31,760 --> 00:27:36,629
In order to obviate this problem
and revalue the leaf,
386
00:27:36,840 --> 00:27:40,628
we've decided on
an extensive campaign of defoliation
387
00:27:40,840 --> 00:27:43,673
and burn down all the forests.
388
00:27:43,880 --> 00:27:48,158
- I think that's a sensible move, don't you?
- Fiscally shrewd! Fiscally shrewd!
389
00:27:50,520 --> 00:27:53,796
You're mad, you know that, don't you?
390
00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:58,152
Is it appropriate to inquire
what you've been doing all this time?
391
00:27:58,360 --> 00:28:02,035
You and that other interloper,
missing for months?
392
00:28:02,240 --> 00:28:04,196
We've been travelling.
393
00:28:04,400 --> 00:28:05,674
We've...
394
00:28:06,680 --> 00:28:11,196
We've been trying to find out
something about this world.
395
00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:15,951
That does not sound
very productive to me. No.
396
00:28:16,160 --> 00:28:18,799
Well, have I got news for you!
397
00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:22,879
It doesn't matter a pair
of fetid dingos' kidneys what you do.
398
00:28:23,080 --> 00:28:26,277
Burn down the forests.
It won't make a scrap of difference.
399
00:28:26,480 --> 00:28:29,870
You see, I've seen the future.
400
00:28:30,080 --> 00:28:32,116
Two million years you've got,
and that's it!
401
00:28:32,320 --> 00:28:37,997
At the end of that time, your race
will be dead. Gone. And good riddance.
402
00:28:38,200 --> 00:28:41,112
Remember that. Two million years.
403
00:28:46,160 --> 00:28:48,799
Strange chap.
What about those documentary things?
404
00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:51,673
Just time for another bath!
405
00:28:51,880 --> 00:28:53,233
Sponge, somebody!
406
00:28:54,240 --> 00:28:56,629
(ARTHUR) No, no, no! Honestly!
407
00:28:56,840 --> 00:29:02,233
''Y'' scores five, and it's on
a triple word score. I explained the rules.
408
00:29:02,440 --> 00:29:04,158
No, no, please!
409
00:29:04,360 --> 00:29:06,749
Put down the jawbone.
410
00:29:08,480 --> 00:29:12,155
All right, we'll start again.
Please try and concentrate this time.
411
00:29:13,360 --> 00:29:15,237
Hi, Arthur, what are you doing?
412
00:29:15,440 --> 00:29:17,351
I'm trying to teach them Scrabble.
413
00:29:17,560 --> 00:29:21,838
It's uphill work. The only word they know
is ''Ugh'', and they can't spell it.
414
00:29:22,040 --> 00:29:26,192
- What's the point in that?
- To make them evolve.
415
00:29:26,400 --> 00:29:29,790
Imagine a world descended
from those cretins over there!
416
00:29:30,000 --> 00:29:32,560
- We don't have to, we've seen it.
- But honestly!
417
00:29:32,760 --> 00:29:35,035
We've seen it. There's no escape.
418
00:29:35,240 --> 00:29:38,152
- Did you tell them what we discovered?
- What?
419
00:29:38,360 --> 00:29:40,715
Norway. Slartibartfast's signature
on the glacier.
420
00:29:40,920 --> 00:29:44,595
- What'll that mean to them?
- It means this is the Earth!
421
00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:47,519
- My home. Where I was born.
- Was?
422
00:29:47,720 --> 00:29:49,676
- Will be.
- In two million years' time.
423
00:29:49,880 --> 00:29:54,317
Tell them that and see what they say.
They'll chase you up a tree! Face it...
424
00:29:54,520 --> 00:29:59,548
Those zeebs over there are your ancestors.
Your Scrabble board won't save your race.
425
00:29:59,760 --> 00:30:03,435
The human race is currently standing
around a bath making documentaries!
426
00:30:03,640 --> 00:30:06,916
- Surely we can do something?
- It's all been done, we've seen it.
427
00:30:07,120 --> 00:30:12,399
You know the history of the Earth
and its demolition by the Vogons.
428
00:30:12,600 --> 00:30:14,556
You can't change anything.
429
00:30:17,480 --> 00:30:22,156
And all because the Golgafrinchans
arrived here on their B Ark!
430
00:30:23,320 --> 00:30:25,788
Ah, well.
(CAVEMEN GRUNTING)
431
00:30:27,280 --> 00:30:29,430
Poor bloody cavemen!
432
00:30:29,640 --> 00:30:32,598
It's all been a waste of time for you, hasn't it?
433
00:30:34,240 --> 00:30:38,392
Out-evolved by a telephone sanitiser!
434
00:30:38,600 --> 00:30:43,230
- He's pointing at the Scrabble board.
- Probably spelt ''library'' with one R.
435
00:30:45,880 --> 00:30:47,438
No, he hasn't.
436
00:30:48,840 --> 00:30:50,114
No, look!
437
00:30:52,360 --> 00:30:54,999
(ARTHUR) The experiment! 42!
438
00:30:55,200 --> 00:30:58,749
Deep Thought's answer to the Ultimate
Question of Life, the Universe and whatever!
439
00:30:58,960 --> 00:31:01,269
Everything! 42!
440
00:31:01,480 --> 00:31:06,713
Of course! The experiment to find
the question to that answer.
441
00:31:06,920 --> 00:31:09,832
It's going on all around us, here.
442
00:31:10,040 --> 00:31:13,828
The Earth. The ground. The trees.
443
00:31:14,040 --> 00:31:17,589
The water. The rocks. The cavemen.
444
00:31:21,520 --> 00:31:24,318
Terrific! We've cocked it up.
445
00:31:24,520 --> 00:31:28,069
The Golgafrinchans, us,
just by arriving here.
446
00:31:28,280 --> 00:31:32,114
The caveman is part of the program,
and they're dying out because of us.
447
00:31:32,320 --> 00:31:34,629
Therefore, no question.
448
00:31:36,360 --> 00:31:40,433
- What about my brain?
- What about your brain?
449
00:31:40,640 --> 00:31:43,837
Marvin said the question was printed
in my brainwave patterns.
450
00:31:44,040 --> 00:31:48,556
- Wrong question. It's still cocked-up.
- It might give us a clue.
451
00:31:48,760 --> 00:31:51,957
If it's in your brain,
how are we going to get at it?
452
00:31:52,160 --> 00:31:56,358
How about...if it's in my brain,
and I can't reach it,
453
00:31:56,560 --> 00:31:59,518
suppose we introduce some random element
454
00:31:59,720 --> 00:32:03,156
- shaped by the brainwave patterns?
- Such as?
455
00:32:03,360 --> 00:32:06,193
Pulling out letters from the Scrabble bag.
456
00:32:06,400 --> 00:32:08,834
- Brilliant!
- Right!
457
00:32:16,120 --> 00:32:18,236
Right. First four letters.
458
00:32:19,320 --> 00:32:22,915
(FORD ) W...H...A...T. What.
459
00:32:23,120 --> 00:32:25,918
Great. It's working.
460
00:32:26,120 --> 00:32:28,270
D...O...Y...
461
00:32:28,480 --> 00:32:30,436
Doy. Doyo!
462
00:32:31,440 --> 00:32:34,910
U...G... Doyoug?
463
00:32:35,120 --> 00:32:36,872
Ah! E...T...
464
00:32:37,080 --> 00:32:44,270
Do you get.
What do you get...
465
00:32:44,480 --> 00:32:46,232
If...
466
00:32:46,440 --> 00:32:50,752
Y...O...U... M...U...
467
00:32:52,960 --> 00:32:55,713
Multi...
468
00:32:55,920 --> 00:32:57,194
P... Multiply!
469
00:32:59,320 --> 00:33:03,632
S...I...X...
470
00:33:03,840 --> 00:33:06,434
Six...by...
471
00:33:06,640 --> 00:33:10,474
N...I...N...E. Nine!
472
00:33:12,080 --> 00:33:15,550
Six...by...nine.
473
00:33:16,560 --> 00:33:18,915
Is that it?
474
00:33:19,120 --> 00:33:20,712
That's it.
475
00:33:20,920 --> 00:33:22,831
Six by nine? 42...?
476
00:33:25,320 --> 00:33:28,312
I always said there was something
fundamentally wrong with the Universe.
477
00:33:28,520 --> 00:33:30,397
All for that!
478
00:33:30,600 --> 00:33:31,874
Yep!
479
00:33:33,920 --> 00:33:36,195
It's very sad, you know.
480
00:33:37,720 --> 00:33:40,632
Just at the moment
it's a very beautiful planet.
481
00:33:40,840 --> 00:33:44,150
(FORD ) It is. It is indeed.
482
00:33:44,360 --> 00:33:46,510
The rich primal greens.
483
00:33:46,720 --> 00:33:49,439
The river snaking off into the distance.
484
00:33:50,320 --> 00:33:52,117
The burning forests.
485
00:33:52,760 --> 00:33:58,073
And then in two million years,
BANG! it gets destroyed by the Vogons.
486
00:33:58,280 --> 00:34:00,919
What a life for a young planet
to look forward to!
487
00:34:01,120 --> 00:34:02,439
What a waste!
488
00:34:02,640 --> 00:34:05,677
Well, better than some.
489
00:34:05,880 --> 00:34:08,075
I read of one planet up in the 7th Dimension
490
00:34:08,280 --> 00:34:11,158
got used as a ball
in inter-Galactic bar billiards,
491
00:34:11,360 --> 00:34:14,432
got potted straight into a black hole,
killed 10 billion people.
492
00:34:14,640 --> 00:34:17,518
(ARTHUR) Madness, total madness!
493
00:34:17,720 --> 00:34:20,837
(FORD ) Only scored thirty points, too.
494
00:34:21,040 --> 00:34:25,079
(ARTHUR) Where did you read that?
(FORD ) Hm? A book.
495
00:34:25,280 --> 00:34:28,590
- What book?
- The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy.
496
00:34:28,800 --> 00:34:30,313
That thing!
497
00:34:37,400 --> 00:34:41,154
(LOUISE ARMSTRONG SINGS
''WHAT A WONDERFUL WORLD'')